I've prayed to know what that missing something was in my heart and that I needed to fix in my life. After talking about it with a few people, I feel as though I need to accept myself the way I am and have patience. I know that these are two completely different ideas and I could ramble on and on about each of them and how each one has affected my life, but I'll try my best to keep it simple.
All my life, I've struggled to accept myself the way I am. I always wanted to be the girl next to me with such great potential and talent. The sporty type with an very humorous, outstanding personality. For me, I was always the average girl that wasn't sufficient at anything, and an okay sense of humor. Yes, I did have talent and still do have talent, but I was never really GREAT at one particular activity that I did. After talking about with a few close people in my life, what I found that helped me feel successful was how well rounded I am. Yes, I may never be terrific at anything, but look at all my accomplishments of what I CAN do !!
- Play softball (and pitch!!)
- Dance (ballet, tap, jazz, etc)
- Sing (sang in choir for 8 years)
- Play the piano, piccolo, euphonium
I am so thankful for God blessing me with talents that I can share with my future children. I know my sports, dance, and musical knowledge to help them. And for me to be average, which I am proud of being, I had to work at it. I had to practice softball 4-5 times a week. I developed patience, and of course continuing to develop this trait. I danced for 8 years to get one little, simple lead in the Nutcracker. I don't even care that I had to share the lead with 2 other people. I practiced, and worked hard for something so simple. I had to wait until senior year to be in the highest choir and band. Before then, I was put in between the beginning level and highest level of musical talent my high school offered. I am so thankful to learning what hard work means, and for having the patience to do it!!
Although I am still learning how to accept myself the way I am, I know that I am much better than I was back then. I am thankful for God in my life, and for blessing me with so many talents!
Olmsted Falls Varsity Team 2010
Senior Year of HS
Not quite sure what the year was, but I'm pretty sure it was either 8th grade or 9th.
Chorale Fall Choir Concert
2010
(I'm in the front row, second one from the right with the very white, right arm.
Softball Nationals 2009 in Sterling, Virginia
it was AWESOME!!
Freshmen Year of HS in Defiance, Ohio
Another fact about me:
I absolutely LOVEEEEE to shop!! I think I may have a problem about it too :/ but I don't care..I love LOVEEE getting new clothes. I would take pictures of myself and upload some new outfits I just bought, but I think that may be a little weird ;)
Great post, Ashley! You are not alone, I know many of us have felt the same exact way about ourselves...at least I have! I have always thought of you as very talented and admired your hard work and example to those around you!
ReplyDeleteAshley I want you to know that I've always thought you were an awesome person in every way! Too bad we don't see ourselves the way other people see us. And your picture on the side of your blog....BEAUTIFUL!
ReplyDeleteYou might not be great at any particular thing, but that doesn't mean you aren't a great person. There are always going to be people that are better than you, but how many of them can say that they worked harder than you to get in that position.
ReplyDeleteSome people are just naturally gifted and don't have to work at all....to me that doesn't make them great. When you bust your butt to be as good as you possibly can be at something, even if that's just average....that's what makes you a great person.
I would rather surround myself with people that had to work to get to where they are because they have a better appreciation and respect for it. No matter how good the person next to you is at something....when you do the best that you can do, at the end of the day you walk away holding your head up high.