I've kind of been in a contemplating mood lately. I've been in such deep thought, I'm sometimes at a loss of where I stand.
As a recent conversation with a good friend, I was telling him about some things that have been concerning me. I was giving him the "woe is me" speech and just needed some encouragement about some particular issues. He then told me that there are quirks that I have that might drive people away from me.
Although I could have replied insultingly, I was just in awe struck by how people really do control their friendliness with other people by how weird or quirky they are.
For example, EVERYONE has met a person, and thought "man, this person is SOOOO weird, just get me away!, I don't want to be his or her friend." Why do we do that? Why do we need to focus on that ONE, maybe TWO weaknesses (or quirk, or just different lifestyle than you).
I know that a lot of our close friends are as close as they are because of the similarities they have with us. We surround ourselves by people who maybe share the same values, standards, and sense of humor, etc like us. But what about people who are socially awkward? From personal experience and talking with other people, I know that socially awkward people tend to shy away from social places because of past bad experiences of talking to another person. Because of not being accepted. And being considered "weird" (when in reality, nobody is necessarily normal). You do not have to be best friends with every one. But to be more tolerable, accepting, and willing to be everyone's friend.
I'm not saying to go out and marry a drug addict or an alcoholic because it's a quirk and it's different standards than yours. That's a lifestyle. You should marry with someone of the same values as you. But, on another note, we need to be more accepting of people. You can't change people, people change themselves. You can influence them, but not control them.
Even change is a hard concept. You can change your lifestyle behaviors, like smoking, drinking, or drug intake, etc. But you're quirks and shortcomings, your personality, your predispositions, those overall you can't change. Your cognitive thinking and actions are very hard to change once they're set. Honestly, I just hate how people don't like certain people because of some dumb quirk they have.
Maybe this only makes sense in my mind, and for it to make sense with one person, I've achieved enough. Go out and make new friends. So what if they talk or do stuff differently than you. Everybody could use more friends. Loyal, accepting, trusting friends. If you see people sitting in church alone, or at a party talking to nobody, go sit or talk to them. I've learned that people, and it doesn't matter who they are, are fascinating creatures. Deviate from the norm, and don't do what everyone else does. People stick with people they know and feel secure around. People sit with people at church that they are most comfortable around and closest too. Go meet someone different than you. Go meet someone socially awkward or weird and be their friend, accept who they are. Because people are awesome. The End.
